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1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
Clinton
2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
Bush'sDaddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business
withhim, and a bad guy when Bush needed a 'we can't find Bin
Laden'diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our
highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq .
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body,
butmultinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting
allmankind without regulation.
6. The best way to improve militarymorale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans'benefits and combat pay.
7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies,
then demand their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but
providinghealth care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and
insurancecompanies have the best interests of the public at heart.
10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.
11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an
impeachableoffense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in
whichthousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government shouldlimit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which includebanning gay marriages and censoring the
Internet .
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but
George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're
aconservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our
prayersfor your recovery.
15. Supporting 'Executive Privilege' for every Republican ever born, who
will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest,
but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.
17. Support hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing
orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.
If you don't send this to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be
stuck with more Republicans in '08.
Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
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